


To love a wolf

by Traci0417



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, I wanted the angst of him falling for a human, Im 4 years late to this fandom, Love, Major Spoilers, Near Death, Spoilers, Tresspasser Spoilers, but tbh story of my life, finally the ending we all deserved, injuries, mutual love, she’s honestly too good for his stupid egg ass, solas is a stupid egg but I love him, writing this was a fever dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 04:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21350473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traci0417/pseuds/Traci0417
Summary: Female human inquisitor/solas.Happy ending. Long one shot of them falling in love combined with a revised ending of the tresspasser DLC.Story cut:She was cradled like a child. The sun in her eyes, the blood in her mouth, the nausea corsing through her whole body, her anchor, killing her more quickly by the second.All forgotten. All the pain vanished, she looked up and saw him. He looked stronger, harsher, but still solas. With all the strength she had, she raised her good hand and cupped his jaw, barely getting the words out,”Ar lath ma, Fen’Harel.”Solas choked, eyes filling with unshed tears, “oh what have I done to you, my Vhenan?” He cried. Holding her tightly to his chest, rocking her back and forth. his forehead pressing against hers.*HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE*
Relationships: Female Inquisitor & Solas, Fen'Harel/Female Inquisitor, Fen'Harel/Inquisitor, Solas/Female Trevelyan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	To love a wolf

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story was written in a fever dream. If it’s not very good sorry but I’m just glad I could get this idea out of my head. Hope you enjoy love u

It hurt. Maker it hurt. Her teeth chattered despite it being so unbearably hot. The anchors energy thrumming through her body was so painful she was thanking Andraste that she could still move. The taste of bile was ever present in her mouth from how disorienting traveling through the eluvians were. Her feet finally on solid ground, although she couldn’t be sure where she was anymore, she was glad that she lasted this long. Trevelyan trudged through the stone frozen Qunari, only looking at them for a moment, nearly grateful she didn’t have to fight them. The Inquisitor didn’t know if she could even lift her weapon at this point.

Every moment passing, ever step taken, felt like she was going towards the end- the real end- she was nearing something that she couldn’t change, no matter how much she fought or screamed. That, to Trevelyan was- in a literal sense, her worst fear. That she couldn’t fix, mend, to make better. She swore she saw a figure on top of the large stone stairs, but couldn’t be for certain. Tears were clouding her vision & her hair slick with sweat made her feel she was just imagining it. Half way up the stairs her legs started giving out & she fell forward, head colliding with the stone steps. The dizziness and nausea worsened & the tears flowed freely.

“Not now please, please not like this- just a few more minutes. Maker I can’t die on some god damn stairs. Get up. Your body isn’t totally broken yet.” She hissed at herself, the anchor was thrumming more violently- to the point she really thought her jaw would break from the pressure of it all. Her body really WAS breaking. She felt it. She felt it all. Despite the impossible- which felt like the slogan of her life- she got up, shakily. On her hands and knees, and started crawling towards the top.

She was crying openly now, her body begging her to stop, the anchor trying to consume her. The biggest temptation in all her years was to just lay down. To sleep. She was so, so tired. 

Biting down on her lip so hard blood was dripping down her chin. The pain was getting worse by the second. No doubt if she was less stubborn she would have already blacked out long ago. She had to keep going. Keep moving. “I need to reach the top. I can die in a few minutes but please let me keep going.” It was like a chant in her head. Constantly telling herself that she can’t stop- if she stopped she’d never move again. The only sound from her was heavy breathing and choked sobs. 

She was almost to the top. Almost. Almost. Almost.

The stone steps reminded her of skyhold, time and time again she’d run up the familiar steps to get to the main hall. Making her rounds, checking on her friends that weren’t in her squad that time around, laughing with Dorian, listening to Varrics stories, hearing Josephine muttering to herself about flower arrangements, sitting on the roof with sera talking about burnt cookies that were never ‘just’ cookies, sitting with Cullen for hours in front of the game board, sitting in silence with Blackw- Thom in the barn, carving out toys for children they came across on missions, drinking with the chargers & hearing more of what Bull didn’t say than what he actually said.

but,her most favorite thing to do is listen to Solas- her dearest friend. His tales of the fade were so wonderful- so full of life. His memories were as dear to him as they were to her hearing them. They’d talk for hours. Her, wide eyed and soaking up everything he was telling her. Seeing the way he’d look at her fondly after every question, practically begging him for one more. It got to the point where he’d just take her into the fade with him. They traveled together every night. Listening to Spirits of wisdom, anger. Even justice. They saw ancient ruins, new. Lakes so full of life that had long since dried up. She read ancient books and saw memories of ancient elves, seeing glimpses of they’re plight. Tears flowing freely when she found out in an elves memory what the valisin actually was, and hearing what the old god Fen’Harel actually did for them. She sobbed openly that night, her heart breaking for a sort-of god that tried to free his people- only to be scorned and his memory tarnished into that of an evil. Solas’ hand warm on her back, “My friend, why do you weep?” 

Trevelyan looked into his eyes with tear stained cheeks, “the dread wolf was only dreaded by those who enslaved the Elvhen people, he was hope, he was their only hope- and he tried to free them, welcoming the slaves, giving them a second chance, taking away their branding and giving them purpose. And now- now all of his plight is forgotten, what he tried to do is forgotten. The Dalish fear him- when Fen’Harel was the only one who was there for them..I do not know why the dalish feel so removed from what elves I am seeing here. But something big happened to sever that connection- what do you think that was?”

For the first time since knowing him, The inquisitor actually saw Solas at a loss for words. He stared at her openly, eyes clouded over with emotions that had such depth that she didn’t have a name for them. After a few moments, Solas finally spoke.

“My dearest friend...you should not spill your tears over the plight of a wolf that failed ages ago. I’m sure he would be comforted knowing that even a woman not of his people mourn for him. But they are not your people nor your distant history, it is my hope that things be righted, that the elvhen people will once again have the chance to be all that they can, not what the dalish have been forced to become- shadows of what once was, willingly branding themselves not knowing what it means, just to be closer to false gods that no longer hear them.”

Trevelyan’s tears stopped and gripped solas’s hands, stepping closer to him, toe to toe. “You’re correct, It is not my people. But to give everything you have to make things right, to sacrifice everything you are for an idea, for a chance to give the people around you even a sliver of a chance- that is something I know intimately, Solas.” Her blue eyes stared into his, resolve of a warrior shining through so intensely he nearly wanted to look away, “I do not know why the dread wolf failed, or why the dalish are so far flung, but I think- if the dread wolf had the same idea again. And wanted to make things right within his people one more time- I believe I would stand with him.”

Solas stilled, eyes wide, dropping his hands,”You...You do not know what you say.” Voice cracking.

Trevelyan tilted her head,”I feel that I do. Something is missing from this world, my friend. The way things are- the way things will no doubt become, oppression and slavery are so deep that they cannot be dug out by myself alone. I may be human, a noble at that & im not even a mage, But do not think me blind enough that I do not see the suffering- do not think I do not constantly think of ways to make things better. To mend. But I am young, not an elf & do not have the answers needed to set things right. Seeing Abelas, the ruins, Mythal even- I see barely a glimpse of what was lost- but I know something was. Something that should have never been misplaced. If Fen’Harel asked me for my help. I would no doubt help him.” Her voice strong. As if she was giving orders, pledging to a plan.

Solas had tears in his eyes, the first time trevellan had ever seen such emotion from her friend, “Sola..”

Before she could ask why he was crying, he placed his hands on both of her cheeks, staring so deep into her eyes she wanted to look away, then in a hoarse whisper, “are you sure, my friend?”

“Without a doubt.” She whispered, never once looking a way from him. 

Then he kissed her.

_____

She was nearly at the top of the stairs now. Going so slowly that the felt she’d never reach it. She saw the pointed top of an eluvian- and she felt some semblance of relief. It that eluvian led right to the winter palace, they would atleast find her body. Give her a small funeral and spread her ashes in the garden at skyhold. Yes. That’s what she wanted. Hopefully her friends knew that too. Only a few more steps to go. Then she could rest.

—-  
Solas barely spoke to her once they woke, she was confused, why kiss her and then go off? A kiss is something that COULD have romantic connotations but she knows that when your emotions get too high like solas’ was, that could have been a knee jerk reaction. She would never condemn him for that. She was more worried why Solas, her most treasured friend, had basically shut himself down.

You could call Trevelyan a lot of things, maker knows that the Courts already do, but one thing The Inquisitor is not, is a fair weather friend. She has travelled to the ass end of no where to destroy red lyrium to make Varric happy, got in the middle of Dorians family situation to offer support, got hypothermia at Emprise Du Lion defeating (2) dragons because It was the best gift she could think to give him after he became Tal Vashoth. She mourned with solas after HIS dearest friend was killed by those idiots of mages. Then to top it all of she forgave Blackwall/Rainer for cold blooded murder & impersonating a long dead grey warden because she knew he could be better. Trevelyan loves fiercely, protects the Inquisition with her life, gives everything to her companions & she is illogically loyal to a fault. She will not sit idle for solas to stew and come to his own conclusions. Whatever happened in the fade the previous night was important to him. And now he’s afraid. And she will not let her friend feel alone in this.

Walking to his room, the smell of paint hit her before she even opened the door, glancing at Varric, she raised an eyebrow to him. Varric simply shrugged his shoulders, “he’s been up well before first light. Whatever happened, it’s working on him pretty bad. Want to give me details so I know if I need to include it in my next book?” He smiled wide, assured that Trevelyan would tell him juicy gossip. 

Trevelyan rolled her eyes at him, opening the door to solas room, telling him they’d talk later.

The smell of paint was overwhelming, so much so that she knew he had been at this for the better part of the day. Filling up yet another section of the wall already. Solas didnt even register that she was standing behind him. Brush strokes working furiously, his clothes covered in paint. She couldn’t help but note that this was the most careless the had ever seen him when it came to something he was focusing on- whatever happened between them the previous night was no doubt wearing on him in a way she had never seen him, not even when his friend was in danger.

She cleared her throat as gently as she could. But he was still in a trance, not even registering a sound was made.

“Solas, my friend, wake up” Trevelyan said gently. 

He flinched harshly, turning around, his eyes clouded over when he saw who was standing there. “inquisitor”.

She physically blanched at the formal greeting. She was only just “inquisitor” when they were strangers in haven, they had been nearly inseparable for over a year since being at skyhold. He greeted her even in passing as “my friend”. Trevelyan resolve strengthened. She would make sure to make whatever happened between them right.

“Solas- my dearest friend. Could I request your time? I’d like to talk.”

He held himself stiffly. Shoulders tight and fists clenched. Looking over books at his desk, trying to act disinterested but answered her gently,”of course inquisitor. My council is always open to you.” 

Trevelyan took a deep breath inwardly, knowing that this would be a difficult conversation for him, “I appreciate that Solas, please meet me in my quarters when you’re ready.”

And with that, she strode out as confidently as she could towards her room.

——  
She was coughing up blood now, she anchor melting down every few seconds instead of every few minutes. Black splotches started crowding her vision. She finally- finally dragged herself up the last step. Crawling towards the eluvian, only looking towards the ground. she heard a ragged gasp, then a wrecked whisper “Oh Vhenan”

———

She was sitting on the railing of her balcony, her white hair loose down her back and tangling in the bitter wind. Cole was keeping her company while she waited, he sensed her hurt but it wasn’t because SHE was the most hurt, she was hurting for someone else.

“Thoughts scrambled, pain pain pain, how can I face her now, she knows too much, she’s too good, shes perfect, she’s human, why human? all my fault, everything is my fault, need to run but no where to go.”

“Cole!” She said sharply, “those are private, I do not need to know his pain if he doesn’t share it with me. Thank you for trying to help.”  
She embraced him tightly & kissed his forehead,”thank you for keeping me company, why don’t you see about easing some hurt around the garden?”

“Yes” and then he was gone.

Sighing deeply, she looked over skyhold. Thoughts focused on Solas. She knew he could never love her, she could easily fall in love with him, and everyone besides her knew she already had. It was no secret that solas was her joy in this dark time. Taking him in nearly every mission, talking to him around the fire for hours on end, taking days long detours to get materials so she could get him better staves and armor. Not that she didn’t do the same with every single one of her companions, but it somehow felt different when it was for solas- she never let herself or hope- much less even think about the possibility. 

He was her dearest friend, and maybe after the arch demon and Corypheus were defeated- maybe then could she consider. It helped that she kept busy. But Trevelyan would never try to start something romantic with anyone while she was Inquisitor. The power imbalance was to great- and too much pressure for a potential partner to handle, especially if it was one of her companions- the pain she would no doubt put them through, especially knowing she would most likely not survive Corphyeus. 

Even if her loneliness was far and deep. Nearly cracking through her skin some nights, she would wait. And maybe after all this, someone would love her, see HER and not the inquisitions flags around her, and she them. And give them every ounce of love a near-goddess could. But until then. She would pour all of that over flowing need into her companions and the friendships she built with them.

She heard the squeak of her door and light footfalls, then silence as he walked across her carpet. She could feel him standing in her balcony doorway, no doubt his hands were crossed behind his back, and brows furrowed. Preparing himself for anything.”you wished to speak to me, inquisitor?”

She did not turn to look at him, knowing he would probably feel cornered if she sat face to face with him- so Trevelyan continued looking out towards skyhold, still sitting on the railing of her balcony, “Solas, my friend, Thank you for coming to speak with me, I’d like to understand you better, and what boundary I crossed with you last night to make you recede from me so.”

Even though she did not see it, she felt him tense,”Forgive me. I acted foolishly towards you. The kiss was inexcusable behavior and it won’t happen again.” He rushed out in one breath. Like he had been practicing it all day and wanted to get it out of his mouth as fast as he could.

Trevelyan smiled gently,”My most precious friend, if you believe a fade kiss would earn my ire, you do not know me at all. If I grew angry at every man whose ever attempted to kiss me at the Herald’s rest, a good portion of the chargers would be in the cells.” A chuckle escaped her lips, “no, I am not insulted and that isn’t why you are here. Solas, something happened last night, something so big you have made yourself vulnerable towards me & now you feel you must put up walls between you and I. That is what concerns me. I will not press you any more. Just know I am genuine in what I said last night. & that I will never bring it up until you do. But I am here for you, I will always be here for you, to help you in any way you need, no matter the task. I would gladly cut off my hand, anchor and all to keep you as my friend, do not disappear from me, do not keep me out. I will give you time, but do not decide that you must put distance between us all on your own, Solas, because it involves me as well, and I never want to be parted from you in a way you seem as necessary- my friend, I will never judge you no matter what you have done, please, I beg you, tell me what’s wrong and we will tear down the walls between us- together.”

Her voice started out strong, but ended in shakey breaths, as much as she hated it. The thought of losing him because she scared him off broke her heart more intensely than she wanted to admit. She could hear heavy breathing behind her, but she continued anyway, bordering on rambling but she couldn’t stop the words from pouring out, if this was the last chance he’d ever hear it out, then dammit she was going to give it everything she’s got.

“I may not understand, nor do you want me to know your secrets, no doubt you have many, but never forget, even after I am long dead and a spirit of mercy in the fade, never forget I will always be beside you, solas. Even if what you hide is what destroys Theadus, I am with you. I am a human who could never understand the pain that you and the dalish feel. And you may never accept all of my support because of that. But never again will you run scared of me, I am with you- always.”

Her eyes were glazed over with emotion, looking unfocused over skyhold. Quicker than she could react, Solas Tugged her off the railing and held her, “Ohwhat have you done Vhenan? Pledging yourself to something you know nothing of.” He whispered into her hair, holding her tighter. 

Guiding her hands to both of his cheeks, smiling up at him,”If you are involved, Solas, no doubt it is over complicated and something I can’t begin to understand- but I trust you with my life,Solas, as I have too many times to count. Whatever your path, I walk it freely with you. Take what I am giving, do not leave me behind.” Her voice think with emotion and promise, looking more deeply into his eyes with every word.

With a shuddering breath he pressed his forehead with hers, “I cannot take your promise Since you do not know the extent of what you’re promising. But know that one day I will tell you everything, but for right now, know that I stand here as a simple apostate, in disbelief that I have found myself irrevocably in love with a human, a warrior, my inquisitor, a goddess in the making. And I do not have the strength to go against you, nor do I have the will to feel disgusted that you are not like me- you have my same soul, and that is why I love you. I cannot promise the future- Vhenan,I promise to you that I will love you more with each passing day, and consider myself blessed to have even heard your laugh more than my retched ears ever deserved to, that my eyes have gazed upon your beauty so often that every time I close my eyes I can never stop seeing you- what have you done to me that Instead of seeing that as a curse, I see as a blessing?”

Then he kissed her, their hearts raw and new, broken and whole. 

For the year that followed, the basked in each other. Her heart light and full, Solas, in the darkest corners of his mind, felt understood. He felt unconditionally loved. By a human! Once the thought would have revolted him, to not be with of his kind. But he knew for certain there was not another being in all his years that was like her. If she truly was a goddess, he would not be surprised. 

Nights spent under the stars, talking about everything, Solas telling her tales long past, as if he actually was there. 

The first time they made love, Solas felt so open that he couldn’t stop the tears. SO LONG had he been alone, and he knew he’d be alone again soon enough. But in that moment, he was so loved, his heart couldn’t stand it. She was so soft, so scarred & strong. Her body glowing under the moonlight through the windows in her room, she was so beautiful that he forgot to breath. Her hand cupping his jaw, “move, my soul, Do not keep me waiting.” She whispered to him, kissing him where the tears glided down his face. he couldn’t believe this was real. She was sitting astride him while he was sitting upright below her, holding each other as close as they could stand, her breasts tight against his chest, They began to move with each other- slow, so slow, then Soft sighs turned into ragged breaths, soft kisses turned into broken moans & even more broken I love you’s, faster and faster, solas gripping her hips so hard he knew that he was leaving bruises, her moans getting louder her movements against him more choppy, his eyes starting into hers as they both fell apart together. 

Trevelyan hugged him tightly to her, solas still inside her- placing gentle kisses all along his face, she whispered into his ear when she finally caught her breath,”Ar Lath Ma, Vhenan.” Solas stilled, then pressed his forehead to hers, “Ar lath ma, Vhenan.”

So they loved, they shared experiences and knew each other’s souls (as much as Trevelyan could know solas’ soul). Then she killed corphyeous, and she felt free for the first time in YEARS. Then she saw Solas, holding the broken orb, telling her what they had was real.

Then he disappeared.

Endlessly she searched, tirelessly, for months she’d leave skyhold just to look for him herself, going to every ruin they ever went to together, leaving notes, earning favor with the dalish just to get hints of a lone elf traveling. But she could never get close enough to catch up to him. Her heart broke daily, but her friends kept her busy, and she turned the pain into motivation, into drive. She would never give up, even if it took her whole life. What good was her love if she abandoned it as well? 

————

She heard him before she saw him. Fingers digging into the dirt, then they weren’t. She was cradled like a child. The sun in her eyes, the blood in her mouth, the nausea corsing through her whole body, her anchor, killing her more quickly by the second.

All forgotten. All the pain vanished, she looked up and saw him. He looked stronger, harsher, but still solas. With all the strength she had, she raised her good hand and cupped his jaw, barely getting the words out,”Ar lath ma, Fen’Harel.” 

Solas choked, eyes filling with unshed tears, “oh what have I done to you, my Vhenan?” He sobbed. Holding her tightly to his chest, rocking her back and forth. his forehead pressing against hers.

She took a deep, shuddering breath, “Solas, my wolf, I know the truth, and I still love you, you have left me too long, I should be angry with you, I should be the one crying- but how grateful I am to have seen you, to know you are still as beautiful as they day you left me.” Smiling up at him, blood coating her teeth. 

She screamed as the anchor melted down once again, the pain blinded her, making her tense and eyes fluttering, nearly passing out because of the pain. Solas held her hand, willing it to stop.

“That should give us more time” solas whispered, smiling through his tears, Trevelyan smiled as well,heart light with seeing her love after years of loneliness, “what truth do you know vhenan? do you know I’m the one who betrayed you, planted the orb, my orb, where that dark spawn could find it? That I am the reason that you are being murdered by the one thing that saved us from total damnation from corphyeus? That I fooled you into thinking I am nothing but an apostate?”

She smiled wider,”My dread wolf, your heart could not hide from me as much as you willed it. You will try to walk this path alone but I will not let you. you tried to save the elvhen people so long ago, you failed, and you slept. You awoke and tried to set things right once again, you failed once more, now you shall try again.”

Fen’Harel closed his eyes, to be truly known by her was a sensation of relief and shame, she truly knew him now, but the deepest shame knowing that he will destroy her world to make it right.

“You still truly love me Vhenan?” 

“Oh my wolf, that day on my balcony, I knew I could never stop loving you, I know what you have planned, I have seen the history, I have been to your temples, the pain you have endured was incredible, the failure you endured to save your people, only to wake and once again find them lost to you, my vhenan, you have endured, how could I stop loving you when all you have done is sacrifice?”

Kissing him soundly she continued,”Solas, take the anchor from me, i don’t know if I can come back from this- the wounds from the qunari and the anchor are killing me.” 

“you will not die, vhenan.” solas hissed with such conviction that Trevelyan almost believed it.  
Laying her down on the grass, he placed both hands on her arm, blinding white pain coarsed through her for a moment, and then a pressure lifted that had been crushing her for years. She finally could breath despite the wounds.

Tears of relief pooled in her eyes as she stared at him, the dread wolf & her Vhenan.

“We will find a better way, vhenan. You will not fail this time because you will not be alone.”

“You cannot walk with me- the path I wal-“

“the path WE walk together! You will no longer be alone dread wolf.” Her breathing was labored with emotion, practically yelling,”you WILL pick me up because I am too weak to stand, WE will go through that eluvian together, I will NOT be parted from you a moment longer.  
& together WE WILL find a better way. I promised to stand by the dread wolf all those years ago and I never go back on my word,solas, you will restore your people and the mighty inquisitor will be by your side”

Her eyes held so much fire he felt himself burn when he looked at them, “take me, dread wolf.”

& so the dread wolf did. 

Cradling her in his arms, they walked through the eluvian together, towards the future of their own design.


End file.
